Why Does It Feel So Wrong To Be Human At Work?

Ep 07 | Why Does It Feel So Wrong to Manage Up?

Episode Summary

We’ve all seen it: the team member who always knows the right thing to say to the boss vs. the one quietly doing the heavy lifting with no recognition. In this episode, Pinaki and Chris explore the often misunderstood practice of managing up. Is it self-advocacy or sucking up? We unpack cultural differences, power dynamics, and how real influence can support a win-win-win for you, your leader, and your team.

Episode Notes

Season 2, Episode 7: Why Does It Feel So Wrong to Manage Up at Work?

Episode Description

We’ve all seen it—or done it. The awkward compliment. The carefully crafted update. The subtle self-promotion. But where’s the line between managing up and straight-up sucking up?

In this episode of Why Does It Feel So Wrong to Be Human at Work?, hosts Pinaki Kathiari and Chris Lee unpack the complicated world of influencing your boss. Managing up can be smart and strategic—or manipulative and maddening. So how do we make sense of it?

Together, they explore:

Why managing up gets a bad rap (hello, teacher’s pet flashbacks)
How cultural norms and personality types affect how we manage up
Why good work alone doesn’t always get noticed
How leaders can avoid playing favorites and foster real team trust
What it means to advocate for yourself without stepping on others
The duality of being both an influencee and an influencer
The ethics of self-promotion, power, and career strategy

From Confucian hierarchy and classroom memories to corporate communication and performance reviews, this episode is packed with perspectives from all sides of the power dynamic.

Timestamps

00:00 – Why this topic hits a nerve (and reminds us of high school)
03:00 – “Managing up” vs. “kissing up”: Is there a difference?
06:00 – How cultural backgrounds influence workplace dynamics
08:00 – The big picture: Everyone sees the org from a different vantage point
10:00 – Self-awareness before self-advocacy: Check your blind spots
13:00 – When ambition meets group work: Getting credit without gloating
15:00 – The echo chamber of leadership feedback
18:00 – Building strong relationships: trust, advocacy, and transparency
21:00 – Annual reviews, promotions, and the art of recognition
25:00 – Team unity vs. individual credit: a delicate balance
28:00 – The role of managers: coaches or competitors?
31:00 – How managers can spot invisible contributions
33:00 – Dale Carnegie, power plays, and staying human

Wisdom That Feels So Right

Mic-Drop Moments

“Managing up feels wrong when it stops being about the mission—and starts being about the mirror.”

“Your job isn’t just to work hard. It’s to be seen, valued, and understood for it.”

“We’re all on the same team—until performance reviews make us forget that.”

Connect with Us

Pinaki Kathiari – LinkedIn | Local Wisdom

Chris Lee – LinkedIn | Gallagher Communication

Special Thanks

To the brilliant minds at Local Wisdom, thank you for 25 years of helping people communicate clearly, effectively, and humanely. To Brielle Saracini, our fearless producer, and to SBX Productions. You are the real MVPs behind the mic.

Your Turn to Speak Up

Has managing up helped you or backfired? Have you ever felt unseen, unrecognized, or unfairly outshined? Share your story, tag us in your reflections, or drop a review. We want to hear your take on the delicate art of managing in every direction.